A Second Chance
by MeloraCA
Summary: Seven years after pushing her away, Alistair summons Jessica Cousland for help after an attempted coup leaves the queen dead and his son kidnapped. Can she put aside the past to help him find his son?
1. Chapter 1

A Second Chance

**Seven years after pushing her away, Alistair summons Jessica Cousland for help after an attempted coup leaves the queen dead and his son kidnapped. Can she put aside the past to help him find his son? **

"Commander, there are several carriages racing down the road heading toward the gate." Brody rushed towards her and handed her the spyglass.

"Could be reporting some stragglers," Jess took the spyglass and focused on the road. "No. I see Nate and Fergus. And Teagan as well."

Jess handed the spyglass back to Brody. "Something has happened."

Turning around she headed back to the keep. "I'll be in my throne room."

It had been seven years since the liberation of Amaranthine as well the last time she stepped foot in Denerim. Before saving Amaranthine, Alistair sent her a letter saying he would not be comfortable having a relationship while having a wife and told her it was best they don't see each other. What was ironic was that she had been considering ending the relationship when receiving that letter.

What Jess did not expect was how he treated her afterwards. Alistair didn't even congratulate her when she saved Amaranthine. He sent Teagan. She didn't even receive a reply from when writing him a letter and he ignored her from then on. She was expecting they would maintain some sort of friendly working relationship but he couldn't even give her that.

It was like Alistair had forgotten about everything they shared. He was not even man enough to even communicate with her when it came to dealing with the Wardens. She made Nathaniel her liaison to the palace so she did not have to deal with it.

Jess trusted Nathaniel and had developed a bond with him over the years after helping him get over Velanna's abandonment. Velanna and Nathaniel had a brief relationship that produced a child. The thought of having a half human child was too much for her so she left them. Nathaniel's sister raises Deidre along with his nephew but Nathaniel always visited on weekends and was always there when an emergency struck.

Jess always made sure any Warden business would be during the week so Nate could return by the weekend to be with his daughter and sometimes she would come with him.

She avoided Denerim. It was just easier to stay away. Her excursions out of Amaranthine consisted of the occasional trip to Highever to visit her brother and his new family and there were also those occasional trips to Redcliffe.

Attending Teagan and Bella's wedding was one of the few highpoints she enjoyed over the years. Eamon was adamantly against Teagan marrying a commoner but she used her power and spoke on their behalf. Eamon never made an issue of it after that. Teagan's relationship with his brother suffered as a result but he didn't seem to care. Grateful for her help, Teagan and Bella formed a close friendship with Jess and she was welcomed to visit Redcliffe whenever she wanted. And she took them up on their offer, visiting a couple times a year. Aside from Highever, Redcliffe was the only other place where she did not have to be the Warden Commander or the Savior of Ferelden. She was just Jess and she relished those moments considering how few and far between they were.

As she paced around the throne room, Jess became filled with trepidation for she knew the safe world she built for herself was coming to an end.

…

The Palace

….

Wynne watched Alistair staring at the body of his wife, which was lying in state at the Landsmeet. Queen Renee was a cousin of Empress Celene. Eamon thought a political arrangement would help relations between the two countries. She was a pretty woman, who enjoyed books, gardens, and hosting parties. While also very kind and gracious, she was the consummate politician and knew the game well. Her charm and practical nature blended well Alistair's fairness and he could credit her for some of the trade agreements and decrees he made. Guilt and regret overwhelmed Alistair however; for what happened to her and for not feeling his grief as deeply as he should.

"You need to go back to bed, Alistair." Wynne said gently. "You are still healing from the attack."

"How can I go to bed Wynne?" Alistair lamented. "My wife is dead. Isolde is dead and Eamon is dying from his wound. And my son could be anywhere now."

"We'll find him Alistair."

"And how can you be certain she will come?"

"Jess will come Alistair," Wynne put her arm around him and helped him walk towards the door. "A child's life is at stake."

…..

Jess stood by the chair she never used and watched as they walk to her. When finally able to see his bruised face and the patch over Teagan's eye, she rushed to them.

"By the Maker, what happened to you?"

"I'm alright Commander," Nate glanced at Fergus and Teagan.

Madeline let out a rueful smile. Nate always called her Commander when they were in the presence of other people but when they were alone or visiting his daughter, he always called her Jess.

"Hello Sister," Fergus smiled at wearily.

"Its good to see you Jess although I wish it was… under better circumstances." Teagan looked away.

"Alright, what is it?" Jess raised her voice. "What happened?"

"There was an attempted coup at the palace Jess," Fergus said gently. "It happened during the Landsmeet."

Jess started to breathe heavy and wring her hands.

"The queen and Isolde were killed. Eamon… is barely holding on." Teagan choked.

Jess could feel her hear sink. She had met Renee a couple of times and even corresponded with her on occasion. Jess could honestly say she liked Renee and had Alistair handled the situation different, they could have been friends.

"And what of the king?" She managed to say.

"He was wounded but is recovering."

Jess looked down at the floor and hoped nobody noticed her sigh.

"Many people were wounded but something else happened Commander."

"Alistair's son was kidnapped Jess," Fergus put a hand on her shoulder.

"The king asked us to get you Commander," Nate said. "He needs your help in finding his son."

Jess looked up at the men as if they sentenced her to death.

"Why does he need my help? As king, doesn't he have an innumerous amount of resources to aid him?"

"He does but they are _not_ you, Jess." Teagan looked at her with pleading eyes.

"Teagan is Bella alright?"

"Bella stayed at Redcliffe with Emily."

"Thank the Maker. I am sorry…about Isolde and Eamon."

"Thank you."

"Just how many were at the Landsmeet to have done all of this?"

"There were a dozen and two of them were blood mages."

"The attack happened so fast Commander," Nathaniel said. "It was chaos."

"Was anyone else hurt?"

"Some of the other nobles sustained some minor injuries but nothing serious," Teagan said. "It was quite obvious they had specific targets."

"How did Isolde die?"

"Isolde was enthralled by one of the blood mages. She grabbed a sword from one of the wounded guards and started to attack Eamon then Fergus," Nathaniel eyes went to the ground. "I had to…kill her. Wynne said it was the only way."

"So you saved my brother again," Jess reached out for Nate's hand and squeezed it. "Thank you."

"I had no choice…Commander. It had to be done."

"I still don't understand why you need me." Jess turned away from them.

"Jessica, you know as Wardens our responsibility is to aid in the security of Ferelden as well as the darkspawn," Nate said gently. "I know you have….a history with the king but it's the right thing to do. And I am saying this as a father."

"Excuse us for a moment gentlemen," Fergus said as he took Jess's hand, leading her towards her study. "I need to speak to my sister."

….

"Fergus! Why did you bring me here?" Jess protested.

Fergus shut the door and stood in front of it, folding his arms.

"Now you are going hear me out Sister."

"But…"

"No! You may be Warden Commander but to me you will _always_ be my little sister and you are going to listen to me whether you like it or not."

Jess folded her arms and looked away.

"You saw what happened to Oren. He was your nephew and I know how you drowned yourself in guilt for not being able to save him. You held your new nephew in your arms when he was born. I know how much you love children. I know Alistair hurt you very deeply but he needs you. His son is missing. As Nate said, you are also responsible for the security of Ferelden and this event warrants your expertise."

"If I do this, can I go back to the Keep once it is over with?" Jess turned to Fergus and hoped he did notice her reddening eyes.

"You can come to Highever after this is all over with to dote on Bryce, play cards and gossip with Marie. You know how much she loves you."

"I bet you're relieved her hatred of the Landsmeet saved her life."

"Indeed I am Sister and I swear to the Maker, I will never argue with her about attending one again."

"Damn it Fergus!" Jess exclaimed. "Do you know how hard this is going to be for me?"

Fergus put an arm around her. "I know but I'll be there for you when you need me. You are my sister above everything else. I love you."

"Alright. I will help Alistair."

"Thank you Jess," Fergus reached out and hugged her. "I knew you would do the right thing."

"Oh I will do the right thing but that doesn't mean I am going to rush and comfort Alistair in his time of need."

"I don't he expects that from you."

"Good, because I _intend_ to get a few things straight with him before we start to look for his son."

"And you are entitled that."

"Lets go tell the others before I change my mind." Jess said as she headed out the door.

….

Varel was standing with Teagan and Nate when Jess came out of her study with Fergus.

"Commander, Arl Teagan and Nathaniel told me the situation. I can handle things while you are away," Varel said. "Word is already reaching Amaranthine about what happened. Some of the soldiers have returned from guard duty encountered some travelers from Denerim."

"I guess I should pack a bag."

"There is something else Jess," Teagan said nervously. "You will also be attending the queen's funeral."

"It would not look right for the Commander of the Grey to not attend," Nathaniel said. "There have been a lot of rumors and hearsay about why you have not stepped foot in Denerim for seven years. It's best to put an end to it by making an appearance at the funeral."

"Wonderful, have my best armor brought out of the armory," Madeline let out an exasperated sigh. "Now if you excuse me Gentlemen, I am going to pack. Varel, have the cook prepare some food."

"Yes Commander." Varel turned and headed to the dining room as Jess went to her quarters.

"I can't believe you got her to agree to go," Teagan looked stunned.

"I knew she would," Nate said. "The Commander always does what's right."

"I may have gotten her to go help, but this is going to be very difficult not only for her but for Alistair. She's still very angry and it's come to the surface. Maker help him because knowing my sister, she is going to unleash seven years of anger and bitterness before even starting to help him."

"Maker help them both." Nathaniel added.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Jessica arrived in the city to see it heavily patrolled by the Royal Guard and immediately ordered Captain Garavel and his unit to assist them.

She was amazed when several people immediately rushed towards her when recognizing her.

"It's the Warden Commander!" A woman cried out. "Our savior has come to help the king."

"I'll…do my best," Jessica said. "Thank you."

Jessica walked toward the entrance of Warden Compound that was across from the palace.

Turning back, she looked upwards and saw Alistair standing at the balcony. Their eyes met briefly but she turned away and continued on towards the compound.

…

Jess wasn't surprised to find her quarters and study already prepared for her.

As she stepped out of the room, Jess headed downstairs where everyone was waiting for her.

"Commander, of course you know the Wardens stationed here will be at your disposal. The king also hoped you would consider residing at the palace." Nathaniel said

"The compound is across the way, I see **no**need to stay at the palace." Jess raised her voice.

"Yes Commander." Nathaniel winced.

"The king is in the safe room at the underground passage." Teagan said.

"Of course he is." Jess said in a bitter and resigned tone. "Let's get this over with."

The compound had an underground tunnel that lead to a secret entrance to the palace. It was also where the Grey Wardens had another vault and there was a safe room.

…..

"I need to do this alone," Alistair stopped and looked at Wynne.

"Alright," Wynne stepped back and turned around looking pleased he made the decision to face Jess alone.

He closed the passage entrance and limped his way down the barely lit corridor, his steps mingling with the sound of dripping water and occasional how of the wind coming from outside.

Making his way into the safe room, he stood by the lit furnace which was prepared for their meeting, and waited for Jess.

From that brief moment of seeing her outside, Alistair could see she was as beautiful as he last saw her, but there was coldness in her eyes. It was obvious she did not want to be here and he couldn't blame her. Had he gone about things differently, they could have remained friends.

Alistair watched the flames and waited for Jess, praying that she could get past any bitterness to help him.

…

A chill went through Jess as she walked down the corridor with Fergus.

"I know I am doing the right thing to help him Fergus, but it's brought everything back. All the anger and bitterness, it was gone until now."

"Jess, you just buried those feelings. They didn't go away," Fergus said gently. "I know he hurt you and I don't think he expects you to forget."

"Good, because I will **never** forget," Jess looked up at Fergus. "You don't have to come with me. I can do this."

"I'll wait by the entrance for you."

Fergus gave her arm a squeeze and she continued to head to the safe room.

…

Jess felt her heart beat against her chest as she walked in the safe room. Alistair was standing close to the stove.

"I know I have no right to ask you for your help," Alistair slowly turned to face her.

Except for the extra stubble on his face and his hair a bit longer, Alistair looked basically the same. His eyes were a different story. The once vibrant spark they had was gone and they conveyed a mixture of weariness, grief, and regret.

"No you didn't have the right but I'm here."

Alistair limped towards her and automatically stepped away, making him stop.

"I am sorry for your loss. The queen was very kind and gracious when she came to visit Vigil's Keep after it was rebuilt and we even corresponded a few times."

"I know. She liked you a lot."

"We could have been friends had you gone about things differently."

"Alright," Alistair sighed. "Lets get it all out in the open now so we can work together to find my son. I know I did not end things right and that's another one of my many mistakes I will have to live with for the rest of my life."

"You know I was actually thinking the same thing and was considering ending things. And then I received your letter. I replied to that letter and **never **heard back from you. And then after weeks on the field, enduring the type of hell you will never understand, my group saved Amaranthine and the last vestiges of the Blight have been dealt with. You sent Teagan on your behalf. Now don't get me wrong, Teagan is a wonderful friend. I like him but can you even begin to understand how much that hurt me and how much that offended the Wardens and soldiers that survived the Vigil's destruction?"

"I just thought it was better for the both of us if we didn't see each other. Believe me Jess, I know now I went about the situation the wrong way."

"Did the taint in your blood go away when you became King Alistair?"

"No of course it didn't."

"It hurt me when you weren't man enough to personally congratulate us for our efforts but you dishonored the Wardens and Duncan's memory by that act."

"If I could go back and change things I would."

"What's done is done. I will help you get your son back but know this Alistair, when this is over with I am leaving Denerim and going back to my life."

"I understand and thank you Jess."

"I know the funeral is tomorrow. After it, we will get together with everyone who was involved. I need to know everything that has been happening and we must go back **before **the Landsmeet."

"I will start wracking my brain tonight," Alistair handed her a torn piece of parchment. "This was found on the body of the blood mage."

"Your Majesty," Jess read. "If you are reading this, my man is obviously dead as I expected. Good job. Your son will continue to be safe if you follow my instructions in the next note which will be sent at my discretion. Until then mourn your wife and run the country as you normally would."

"They didn't tell me about this note when they came to the Keep." Jess folded it.

"We didn't examine the bodies as quickly as we should have," Alistair admitted. "They were already traveling to the Keep when we discovered it."

"Where are the bodies?"

"In the basement of the palace."

"Good. I will want to see them."

"I figured you would."  
Alistair and Jess stared at each other in silence.

"I just want him back Jess," Alistair's voice quivered.

He started to reach out but Jess backed away from him.

"I'll do my best Alistair, but I can't make any promises until I know **more**," Jess said. "I have to go. We'll talk soon."

Alistair watched as she turned and leave the room.

…

Wynne looked up from her book as Alistair came into the sitting room.

"How did it go?"

"Jess is going to help me find Duncan. She hates me but she's going to help us." Alistair poured himself a drink.

"I don't think she hates you Alistair," Wynne said gently.

"Maybe. But I did hurt her and she's **never** going to forgive me for that."

Alistair sipped his drink then set it down, turning to Wynne.

"Tell me Wynne. How after all this time, can I still love her? I am burying my wife tomorrow, yet I am thinking about Jess. I truly am a horrible human being."

Wynne sighed as she watched him limp out the room.


End file.
